Journey Through the Puckurt Tag: A Story in Pictures

Le scroll through the tumblr

Oh look, the Puckurt tag has numbers by it! Let’s see some awesome stuff relating to my otp!

“I don’t ship this but…”

“I want a Puckurt friendship!!!”

*RP Post*

“I really ship Puckurt—DON’T WORRY, I WILL ALWAYS SHIP KLAINE MORE THAN PUCKURT BECAUSE I LOVE KLAINE OMG KLAINE—I just like Puckurt, too. But Klaine omg!!!!!!!”

Kurt performs “Bathwater” by No Doubt

Song can be found here

You and your museum of lovers

The precious collection you’ve housed in your covers
My simpleness threatened by my own admission

Read More

OTP: Aristocats

Puck and Kurt sing “Teenage Dream”

KURT:

You think I’m pretty without any lotion on

You think I’m funny when most thing my jokes are wrong

I know you get me, so I let my walls come down…do-ow-own.

PUCK:

Before we dated, I was a whore

But it got boring, you opened a door

Now never will I be that way anymore (Anymore)

Let’s go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can hump until we die

You and I, will have sex forever!

Puck Performs a special song for Kurt

Part 1

*Cue the rockin’ bass line*

Finny can I come over after schoo-oo-oo-oo-ool (After school)

We can play around with your X-x-x-Bo-o-o-o-ox (Your XBOX)

Did your bro get back from his shopping trip? (Shopping trip)

Is he there, or his he tryin’ to give me the sli-i-i-i-ip? (Give me the slip)

Y’know I’m not the foolish boy that I used to be

I’m all grown up now, baby can’t ya see?

Finny’s bro has got it goin’ on

He’s all I want, and I’ve waited for so long

Finny can’t you see, he’s the only guy for me

I know it might be wrong

But I’m in love with Finny’s bro

How to be a 100% Non-Pedo Teacher by Will Schuester

1. Spend time creeping in the locker rooms.

2. Invite a whole group of kids to your house

3. Perform a sexy number with a group of kids

4. Hug all the kids you can

5. Volunteer to play Rocky in The Rocky Horror Show against kids playing Janet and Dr. Frank N Furter.

6. …or just put on a production of that show with kids.

7. After you drunk dialed someone and tried to flirt, give the kids your phone number so they can call you when they’re drunk.

8. Watch your kids’ sexual performances—like crotch gestures and booty shaking—with amazement

9. Get to second base while breaking up a fight

10. Watch three cheerleaders perform a flirty song/dance for you privately 

best part of PartieKum? The sex accompanied by rap

They’ll just be in the middle of everything when Artie will just yell, “ARTIE!” and just start rapping.

Puck and Sam and Kurt will be like, “Dude, what the fuck? Shut up!”

And Artie will just be like,

Then Sam will be like,

Then they’ll go back to it and he’ll start up again

“Artie, you’re a great rapper but we’re in the middle of—”

…

…

“…Okay.”

How to Be 100% Heterosexual by Noah “Puck” Puckerman

1. When you’re first meeting a cute, blond guy with big lips that just moved into town, ask him if he ever had balls in his mouth. And if he asks the question back, don’t deny it, just smile and nod.

2. When the kid gets a new haircut, tell him his mouth looks even better and bigger.

3. Enjoy flipping your hair wig. 

4. Be more concerned about the music video you were in being horrible then being used by the girl who made it for popularity reasons.

5. Pretend to vomit at heterosexual activities

6. Make sex eyes at the only gay guy you know.

7. Flirt with/try to get the attention of the only gay guy you know 

8. Glare daggers at the dude who took the only gay guy you know away

9. Chose to sing songs at prom, a romantic occasion, with two other dudes

10. Sit closer to and lean into laugh to the only gay guy you know of instead of your girlfriend.

Noah Puckerman: 100% Straight

Chris Colfer performs “Friday”

7 AM waking up in the mornin’

Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs

Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal

Seein’ everything, the time is goin’

Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’

Gotta get down to the bus stop

Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Kickin’ in the front seat

Sittin’ in the back seat

Gotta make my mind up

Which seat can I take?

It’s Friday, Friday

Gotta get down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday

Gettin’ down on Friday

Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)

Fun, fun, fun, fun

Lookin’ forward to the weekend

My “I Just Had Sex” Glee sytle in HurrDurr

Kurrt: But he kurrpt lurrkurrng at his wurrtch!

Purrck: Durrsn’t murrtturr, had sex.

Surrnturrnurr: But I crurred the whurrle turrme

Purrck: Durrsn’t murrtturr, had sex.

Murrke: I thurrnk it murrght’ve burrn rurrcurrst.

Purrck: Durrsn’t murrtturr, had sex.

Burrt: She put a hat on my hurrd

Purrck: Sturrll currnts!