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Haaaaave You Met Puck?

or How I Met Your Father

Part 1

Kids, I’m going to tell you an amazing story. This is the story of how I met your father. Or Papa, I guess, is what you call him. Or not really how I met him, since I really met him when I was trying to eat glue in kindergarten and he was making a finger painting, but how I finally really met him and got to know him. And then finally won him over.

It all started in 2017, when we were both a year out of college and living in, like we do today, New York City.

Puck couldn’t believe his luck, getting hired to work at MacLaren’s. It wasn’t a hugely popular bar, so he wouldn’t be overworked, but it paid well and the bar was known for getting good tips and having good costumers, so he wouldn’t have to help college girls try to find rides home like at other bars. They were willing to work around his schedule of performing in bars (both with a band and in solo gigs) and, c’mon, all the tail he was bound to get? The best part of being a young bartender. And, really, he just needed the job and money. 

He had been working there for a few weeks when, on a particular Saturday night, he heard a voice he never expected to hear again.

"Screwdriver, please?" 

Puck’s eyes widened as he finished cleaning out the glass he was working on, his back to the bar. It was a male voice, but much higher and feminine than most, the slightest bit of arrogance he used to hear in it was almost gone, but he was sure if it was pushed, the bitchiness would definitely come back out.

Slowly, he turned around. “Kurt?”

The man looked up from his phone and his own eyes widened, his jaw dropping slightly. “Puck?” 

Both men stared at each other for a moment before laughing quietly together. “Wow…Hummel—Kurt. Long time no see,” Puck finally commented. “Nice drink order, by the way, nice and easy to make,” he added, pulling out the vodka and a glass.

Kurt smiled shyly, a weird look on him Puck never really saw in high school. “Thanks. I guess my opinion on alcohol has changed since we last met.”

Puck laughed, “Yeah, I guess it has. Anything else change since that Glee party summer after senior year?”

"Oh God, the night of horror?" Kurt shook his head. "What all happened again?…Oh God, I drank, didn’t I? It was the next day I decided I would never drink again, ha! And—oh yes—the night before we played truth or dare, right?"

"Yeah, you did, it was hilarious, actually," Puck laughed. "And we of course we had to play Truth or Dare.”

"Right!" Kurt laughed back, taking the glass Puck offered him, nodding his head in thanks. "And then…they made us kiss, didn’t they?" He looked slightly horrified.

"Hey, I don’t think I was that bad! Santana never complained.”

"Puck, she’s a lesbian now."

"You know what I mean," Puck rolled his eyes and Kurt’s grin.

Kurt smiled more, “Okay, you weren’t awful it’s just…sorry they made you make out with a gay kid.” He took a sip of his drink and Puck finally looked him over. He still had the same long fingers, poofy hair, pale skin, full lips, button nose, and eyes that were that mix between blue and green and gray, but something was different. Kurt just seemed to hold himself different. He always seemed and was so confident in school, but now it seemed much more real and not as defensive; he didn’t seem like he was going to attack anyone who said anything that offended him in the slightest, like he seemed ready to do in high school. Maybe he could say what he wanted to with this calmer Kurt.

"Actually—"

"So what have you been up to?" Kurt interrupted. He smiled apologetically, "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Oh, nothing," Puck said. No need to tell him he didn’t mind the make out and all the baggage from that. Plus Kurt really seemed to want to forget what had happened. Sighing, he started, "Well, after school I went to the Lima community college, y’know, got some gen eds, then I went to Berklee, actually."

"Oh yeah, I saw that on facebook, I think," Kurt nodded. "That’s so cool, so you got to write your own music?"

"Still do. And then I moved out here since it was closer than L.A., figured I could try to hit the indie scene. So I play at bars and have a band and stuff. It’s a lot of work but pretty cool. In between gigs I went to bartending school so I could work jobs like this. And the bar’s cool about letting me get off work to perform, so it’s a good deal." Kurt continued to nod and sipped at his drink. "What about you? Still performing?" Puck asked after a moment.

"Well, I went straight to NYU, since I didn’t get into the dream school the Rachel did," Kurt started. "Rachel and I shared this cute little apartment, talked about our musical theater major problems together, saw each others shows, all of that. But then near the end of freshman year, I started not liking it as much. I felt like I was losing all my passion for singing and performing. Then I didn’t make a show and so I worked, naturally, in the costume department. And…I loved it. I wasn’t head of the crew, but I might as well have been because I ended up making most of the decisions and measurements and it was just fantastic. The costumes were great and I had so much more fun working on costumes then actually being in the show I was in the semester before.

"After a summer of soul searching I came back with a focus in costume design and started taking some writing. Took all the fashion related courses they had, wrote, designed costumes…now I’m a paid intern at Teen Vogue—I know, not as prestigious as the adult version but a lot easier to get a job at—and they’re thinking of hiring me when my internship runs out. And maybe one day I’ll open a boutique or something, I don’t know, I just really, really, really love writing and being surrounded by fashion all day,” Kurt finished with a shrug. He laughed quietly, “Sorry, I kind of talked your ear off there.”

"Nah, and that’s all really cool," Puck answered, scanning the bar, glad to see that no one was waiting to get a drink; it was still pretty early for the normal bar crowd, except for the regulars who came in all hours of the day and night. "Do you still sing at all?"

"In the shower and karaoke bars and stuff, not too much besides that."

"Well maybe you can come sing with me sometime, I can learn some Gaga on my guitar if you want to sing in front of an audience again that isn’t drunk and waiting to sing ‘Living on a Prayer’," Puck offered.

Kurt raised his eyebrows, “Really? That’d be great.”

"Of course," Puck nodded. "Wait a minute, there’s no ring on that finger. I thought you and Blaine would be engaged by now."

Kurt snorted, “No, we broke up soon after I graduated. I didn’t want to go into college with a high school boyfriend, he didn’t want to go through his single year with a boyfriend half a country away. It was mutual.”

"Sorry."

"Not your fault, even if our kiss did make him jealous. We still talk every now and then.” Kurt took another sip of his drink and then frowned, “You didn’t mention Quinn.”

It was Puck’s turn to snort, “We didn’t last that much longer after high school. I’m all cool for being tamed in a relationship but it was like she wanted to castrate me or something. Too much tension. But we both still keep in contact with Shelby and have skyped with her and Beth, so that’s nice.”

"Aww, how is she?"

"Adorable. Just started kindergarten. She’s amazing," Puck said wistfully. Finally he came out of his daze and asked, "So how are Finn and Rachel? Still together, right?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, “Yes, it’s annoying, though, they’re on one week and off the next. Rachel’s still trying to get him to move to the city but he’d need to find a place to teach music here first, and preferably not in an inner city school, the kids would eat him alive. But he’s coaching a Glee club at the high school he’s at now, Brittany choreographing for him, and they won Regionals, so if he gets a National title he could probably get a good job here. But Rachel just got a lead in a touring production of Anything Goes anyways, so she’s not even living here, her stuff’s either with her or her dads.”

"Santana and I still talk, she told me Brittany was choreographing, I just didn’t realize Finn was teaching one of the clubs she choreographed for," Puck nodded. Then he frowned, "Wait, did you say you Rachel’s not living with you anymore? Can you pay rent on an intern’s salary?"

"…No. I can’t. Which is why I’m here." He took a deep breath, "My uncle—well, sort of uncle—comes here often, he told me to meet him here. I need to talk to him about possibly living with him and his wife for a while."

"I didn’t know you had an uncle or ‘sort of uncle’ in the city."

"I don’t really know what to call him. See, his biological dad was my mom’s uncle. I never knew him that well since he used to party a lot, hence why he had a kid without knowing him that well. Eventually he reached out to me and my dad and then I met his family and his other son and since I was moving to the city, he told me to get in touch with him. We’ve met up a lot and he’s a pretty cool guy, so I’m hoping he’ll let me stay with him," Kurt explained. "His wife loves me, too, ever since I told her she looked great in her wedding dress, and has always loved meeting me for lunch with or without my uncle."

"He’s a regular you said? Maybe I know him. What’s his name?"

Before Kurt could say anything, a hand clapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and beamed, “Uncle Barney!”

Puck’s mouth dropped as they greeted each other and hugged. Three weeks in and he definitely knew that guy. Barney Stinson and his friends (and wife Robin) were thedefinition of regulars. They were there almost everyday, they knew everyone at the bar by name, they had a freaking meal named after them (nachos, something they always ordered). 

"Hey, Puck," Barney finally greeted, giving him a high five, Puck still in a slight daze. "What up?"

"Just…just talking to your…nephew?"

"Cousin, I guess if you’re technical about it. Thanks for keeping him company, GNB meeting went long."

"Actually, Barney," Kurt smiled, "I know Puck. We went to high school together. We were in Glee club together."

"No way! That is—"

"If you call it legendary, Uncle Barney—"

"Awesome! There, is that acceptable?"

"Very much so. Where’s Aunt Robin?"

"Over in our usual booth." Puck handed Barney a scotch and Barney nodded at him, "Let’s go."

Kurt smiled at Puck and mouthed wish me luck. Puck laughed and mouthed back good luck. Then Kurt sat at the table and Puck had to pour a beer for a guy at the bar.

About half an hour later, Kurt came back to the bar, “Beer pitcher and three glasses, barkeep.” His eyes twinkled with mirth at the name he called Puck.

"So what’s the verdict?" Puck asked as he filled up a pitcher. 

"I get to stay with them," Kurt said excitedly, "We’re getting drinks to celebrate the move."

"Awesome!" Puck whooped, handing him three glasses and walking out around the bar. He grabbed the pitcher, "Guess I might see you around here a lot, then."

Kurt smiled at him, and Puck was taken aback, not realizing how much taller Kurt had gotten; it wasn’t that much, but now he was even closer in height that they had been. “Yeah, I guess you will.”


Posted 3 years ago with 48 notes


  1. northisnotup reblogged this from xlessxthanx3x
  2. trippedintolalaland reblogged this from xlessxthanx3x and added:
    omg lemme love yoooooooou. more??
  3. slasherdreamerbored reblogged this from xlessxthanx3x and added:
    AAAAAAAAAAAgegsrg what is this perfection??
  4. thedarkdruid reblogged this from xlessxthanx3x and added:
    THIS IS AWESOME, SO TOTALLY AWESOME. My OTP love is floating on cloud nine, right now. Dude, you are awesome.
  5. spookycaslovesdean reblogged this from xlessxthanx3x
  6. xlessxthanx3x reblogged this from watsonlocked and added:
    Puckurt and Barney are my two favoritest TV shows otps, they had to be put together, obvi and omg make a shrine for me...
  7. watsonlocked reblogged this from xlessxthanx3x and added:
    HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER AND GLEE CROSSOVER, NOT TO MENTION IT INCLUDES 2 OF MY 3 MOST ‘HARDCORE’ OTPS. SOMEBODY CATCH ME....