Favorite Quotes

Copy-Pasted from FB xD

“My name is Puck and I use humor to deflect real emotion.”

“After Spanish one day, Mr. Schue keeps Dave Karofsky after class to talk about his failing grades. Karofsky confides that he can’t stop thinking about Kurt during class. Specifically, he can’t stop thinking about how hot he is with his new haircut. Meanwhile, Brittany accidentally copies herself.

That’s right, I want Schave and a hairKurt, two Britts.”
~Glee_Fluff_meme hahahahhaa

“I feel like Mercedes; all I hear is ‘trumpet, trumpet, trumpet! Oh look, I just opened my mouth and a little mute fell out!” 
~Me to Jordan and Elizabeth. I amuse myself sometimes xD

1 Corinthians 3:4-5
1 Corinthians 13
Luke 6:37-38

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Anything that can make me laugh :)

♥

~Basically all RHPS callbacks :)

Hannah J: The first thing you think about with peanuts is salty!

Elizabeth: Are you still on skype?
Jordan: No, I’m just talking to my computer. You may want to leave, we have a very intimate relationship.

Jordan: Big Boi needs to be fixed!

Me: You can’t spell The Bible without “bi”!
…
Josh: How true this is. And you can’t say congregation without “gay”.
…
Me: You can’t say priests without “raping boys”
…
Josh: Love. It. Um……you can’t say……lesbian without…….”bein’” and “lez”…..so…..you‘re……bein’ a lez…….I give up. :/
…
Me: You can’t say “melodic dictation” without saying “dick”. Because it’s THAT HARD.

What are pedestrians? Are they gay people?

Me: I mean, I’d totally let you come home with me…
Aaron: To Kansas…that’s the land of Dorothy
Me: Oh, I’ve NEVER heard that, wow. ha. ha. ha.
Aaron: You know what’s even better? I’m a friend of Dorothy!!

Nick/Me: What if we had vibrato…when we talked?

Jordan: *pointing to Forgetting Sarah Marshall* I haven’t seen this, is it good?
Me: Yeah, but there’s a penis in it.
Jordan: Well, that’s delicious.

Me: My laptop isn’t charging…crap!…oh, wait…it got unplugged…
Sam: *laughing hysterically*

I like wrent and rewicked

♥

~Don: No, it’s all my fault, I was being a total drama queen. That’s not offensive, right?
Ted: Still not gay…still not gay.
~”We’ve all been searching for the five doppelgangers, right? Well eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happen to look like us. Five years ago? That girl was pretty great. But doppelganger Robin? She’s amazing.”
~”Every time I start to feel sad I tell myself to be awesome instead. True story.”
~Did you just blow your nose?
No, I just had some extra awesome and I had to get rid of it.
~NAKED MAN!
~*all with salutes*
General Knowledge 
Corporal Punishment 
Colonel Stuck-in-my-teeth 
Major Buzzkill 
Major Cleanup 
General Idea 
~”Everybody come and play/Throw every last care away/Let’s go to the mall TODAY!!!” (really, just everything from “Let’s Go to the Mall” and “Sandcastles in the Sand”)
~”It’s going to be legen—wait for it, and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the next word is—DARY!!”
~”My PARENTS live in Ohio. I live in the moment.”
~”I think tonight’s going to be de—wait for it—lightful.”
~And Robin’s more than awesome. She’s awe-quite-a-bit.
~SWARLEY!
~It kind of looks like a Smurf penis.
~”Challenge accepted!”
~Ted: I understand.
Barney: Now you do. Because I explained it to you.
~”I’m—wait for it—in…wait for it…love…wait for it…with…”
~Barney/Bar: USA! USA! USA!
Robin: That doesn’t prove anything. People will chant ANYTHING. Canada! Canada!…Okay, not anything.
Barney: SHRIMP FRIED RICE! SHRIMP FRIED RICE!
Rest of bar/Barney/Ted/Marshall: SHRIMP FRIED RICE! SHRIMP FRIED RICE!!
~Barney: I can’t go, I have this thing.
Lily: What thing?
Barney: A penis
*in the blooper reel*
Cobie: …Me too.
Josh: It’s true.
~Ted Mosby. Architect. 
~”Hey God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know I don’t talk to you often…well, I make a lot of girls say your name in bed. That’s pretty awesome.”
~”LAWYERED!!”
~”Suit up!”
~”To score a ten would be just fine/But I’d rather be dressed to the nines!” and everything else in “Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit”
~Barney Stinson/Barney Stinson/That guy’s awesome!

~”Kiss, doogie!”
And everything else about/regarding/from HIMYM and/or NPH

♥

~Kurt/Blaine: Gay, gay, gay, gay, GAY
Kurt: Oh my gosh, I open my mouth and a little purse falls out. How did that get in there?
Blaine: SOOO gay!
*laughs*
~”True spirituality, or whatever you call it, is about enjoying the life you’ve been given.”
~I’m getting a full ride to the University of California Los Angeles. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s in Los Angeles.
~My dad bought it for me when he made me promise to stop wearing form-fitting sweaters that stop at the knee…What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
~We live in Ohio – not New York, or San Francisco, or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren’t fried.
~I’m going to take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests ─ I mean, seriously, you wear more vests than the cast of “Blossom.”
~Puck: Oh my God, he’s coming out.
Finn: Why, yes, there is a man who’s sort of recently come into my life, and that man is Jesus Christ.
Puck: …That’s way worse.
~Is God an evil dwarf?
~I made him a card that said “Heart attacks are just from loving too much.”
~Emma: Don’t you think that’s just a little bit arrogant?
Sue: It’s as arrogant as telling someone how to believe in God, and if they don’t accept it, no matter how open-hearted, or honest their dissent, they’re going to hell. Well, that doesn’t sound very Christian, does it?
~For our duet we’re gonna do it.
~How do you get caught between the moon and New York City? They’re like a thousand miles apart.
~”No, she’s dead, this is her son.”
~”Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?”
~”When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist.” 
~”I think my cat’s been reading my diary.”
~”Sometimes I forget my middle name.”
~”What do boys’ lips taste like?”
~”My name is Brittany Spears, too. My last name is Pierce, and my middle name is Susan, so S. Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spears. I’ve spent my whole life living in her shadow.”
~”Hello, I’m Kurt Hummel, and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.”
~Santana: Sex is not dating.
Brittany: If it were, Santana and I would be dating.
~”I’m no longer going to be carrying around ID. You know why? Because people should know who I am.”
~”You can’t feed a child sheet music, Will. Well, I guess you can, but only for a few months.”
~”I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face.”
~”I had sex with your mom. No, seriously: I cleaned your pool, and then I had sex with her on your bed. Nice Star Wars sheets.”
~”I want to be very clear, I still have full use of my penis.”
~”I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at once, and now I can’t remember how to leave.”
~”I’m like Tinkerbell, Finn, I need applause to LIVE!”

~Spoiler Alert: Someone MAY sing.
~‎”It’s just hilarious how different their walks are. Puck’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m BA.’ Jesse’s like, ‘I’m a ballerina!’ and Finn’s like, ‘I can’t walk in a straight line!’” (Jordan Kranse on the “Run, Joey, Run” video on Glee)
And everything else from/relating to GLEE

♥

Me: That’s what we call a director fail, boys and girls.

‎”Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum? Pigfarts? I don’t like that!”
-My four year old nephew Joey on AVPM

~”OHMYGODILOVEHARRYPOTTERRRRR…”
~Me: Oh, so to do the snake by yourself you’ll split your Adam’s apple in five parts?
Nick: That’s the equivalent of a horcrux.
~Melanie: The world would know peace if we all could just walk around naked.
~Alex Peterson: I don’t want to be cute, I wanna be sexy!

~Sympathy Jones, super secret agent!!
~Chicken tenders are back? OH NO!!!!

~Don’t crush my mom’s taco!…
~Creature of the NIGHT?
~Ummm, they’re BROWN, Alex.
~Aww, my thingie fell off!

♥ CoE ♥
“Do you NOT see my raised eyebrows?”

Madi: So the driver said this was the town car he was going to drive Lady Gaga in when she was in town, so I licked the seat! And Lady Gaga’s going to sit there!
Aaron: I thought you were normal!

“All we need is some pot for this to be like That 70’s Show.”

Are you going to be in this?
No, no, I’m fine…

“That was a nice stage kiss, Hannah, but next time can you close your mouth?”

~My name is Shcteve Shcullivant. I will be schinging “Loshctt in the Wildernesshct” composhcted by Shctephen Shctwartz.
~We need to have a cast pool party, and by cast I mean, like, five people.
~When I think of cinnamon bear I think of, like, a Teddy Graham, like, rolling onto the arc.
~Well, when we were raptors it worked fine since we were both males and that’s why they didn’t reproduce…
~I’M Kelso, are you kidding me?
~Steve: Cocaine! Haha like Co-CAIN!
Nick: So you and young Cain do it together, so it’s “co”!

~”I was just waiting for her to come across the stage during Noah’s family.”
~”It would just be perfect if she had a bowl-cut!”
~”I feel like the spark of creation sounds like a sex thing, like an STD.”
~”Children of Eden 2: Revenge of Cain”

“Lost in the Parking Lot…”

SWEAT! *Fosse pose*

*Using the “Single Ladies” dance*
“Oh Noah, you go-ah, All the way back to the protozoa!” 

~Where there is choice, there is pain.
~The hardest part of love is the letting go.
♥

~StarKidPotter~

“RACIST SISTER!”
“I hope it’s not an Ashley Tisdale poster, cuz I just can’t do that!”
“What? What the hell is this?”
“Now that we got that four part harmony done, why don’t we find that horcrux?”
“Can someone tell me what a portkey is?…now can someone tell me what foreshadowing is?”
“I’m tired. Can’t we just be Death Eaters?”
“FIND!”
“Everybody make way for a pas de bourree!”
“Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!”
“Well, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot!”
“You think killing people might make them like you. It doesn’t. It just makes them DEAD!”
“Well, aren’t WE an odd couple?”
“What the Devil…?”
“Coward! 20 points from Gryffindor!”
~Quirrell: So you came back??
Voldemort: I came home.
And everything else from A VERY POTTER MUSICAL

~”I’m a racist, I despise gingers and mudbloods, I hate Gryffindor house, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents. Want to be my friend?”
~Rule number 1: No boys…unless they’re cute!…Rule number 2: No alcohol…unless there’s plenty to go around! hahaha Stop it girls, I’m bad!…Rule number 3: No parties…UNLESS UMBRIDGE IS INVITED!! hahahahaha derderder…But seriously, if I catch you with any boys or alcohol I’m gonna rip your perky little boobs off…*stares*…
~Scarfie: Looks like we’re out—AGAIN!
Dumbledore: DISAPPARATE!
All: Ahh, magic…
Umbridge: What? Where did he go??
Snape: He disapperated.
Umbridge: That’s bullshit, Snape, you can’t disapperate inside Hogwarts grounds, right?
Audience member: Right
Umbridge: Right!
~Lupin: That book’s like a thousand years old! It still calls dementors ring Wraiths!
Umbridge: So you’re smarter than whoever wrote this book, you’re smarter than…MERLIN?!!
~Lucius: She choreographed an affair behind my back with someone I admired, someone I might have even loved.
Harry: Ollivander?
Hermione: Argus Filch?
Ron: Regulus Black, Sirius’ brother?
Yaxley: Me?? 
Lucius: Dobby.explains a lot, doesn’t it? Your irrational fear of the potty.
Hermione: 600 house elves die in toilet related accidents a year! They fall right in…
Lucius: And why you have such a small “D”
Draco: It’s SO small…
Lucius: It’s ‘cause you’re a fucking elf!!!!
~Lucius: Now, you do that stiff upper body movement you’re so fond of and you two, you do…this. I know you’ll feel ridiculous, but it’ll look so fucking cool
…
Harry: What a marvelous display. I’m impressed.
~”…how we all laughed together in celebration.”
~”Shit, I gotta watch my damn mouth around you bastards…Sorry…SHOOT…I gotta watch my damn mouth around you bastards.”
~*Over Bertie Bott’s*
Ron: What did you get?
Harry: Broken computer
Ron: Gross…*eats one*
Harry: What did you get?
Ron: Defeat…
~Ron: Favorite Aimee Mann song on three, 1, 2, 3
Ron/Harry: “Red Vines”
Harry: Favorite type of vines other than green
Harry/Ron: RED VINES!
Ron: Favorite way to say ‘Red Wines’ in a German accent?
Harry/Ron: RED VINES! OH MY GOD!!
Ron: Dude, where have you been all my life?
Harry: In a cupboard underneath some stairs.
Ron: Cool!
~Peter: How about you vote on what will be on your tombstone!
Ron/Harry: RED VINES!
~”Red vines…what the Hell can’t they do?”
~Sorry ‘bout your rat, Ron
It’s okay, he’s been dead for three years. *puts him on shoulder*
~”Rule number one, you NEVER tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot.”
~”I’m in a rage!!! This is the maddest I’ve ever been!!!!”
~”Who is that? I think I’m in love!”
~Harry: What did you guys get sorted as?
Ron: Bi-curious
Hermione: Waiting for marriage
…
Dumbledore: Gay as the fourth of July
~”I use [the sweatband] to cover this ugly scar I have. See, when my I was little my family and I crashed…into a crocodile. He ate my parents, then he pulled out a knife and gave me this scar. Well, at least that’s what my liar aunt and uncle told me.” 
~You’re Harry Freaking Potter!!
~Dean: Quidditch? Watchyu talkin’ bout Dumbledore?!
~”Did you get my text?…well you didn’t text me back!”
~To get ahead, you have to be more than a man, you have to be a WO-man! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME…SMASH!
~And from that day on I lifted up anything I could into the air and ate nothing but protein shakes, falcon eggs, and ROCKS!
~We won’t lose to Ravenclaw, Slytherin…or Jigglypuff…
~I don’t see anyone. I just see me in Willy Wonka’s factory. Hermione’s turning into a blueberry and I’m eating her.
~There must be so many werewolves here. 
Yeah, like the one who took Lupin’s brooch.
~I used to want to take your mom’s…boobies…and put them on my face…and go brrrrrr.
~”I think that I need some chamomile tea before my slumber!”
~”Is that crosshatching I detect?”
”’…I miss my little pony less than 3.’ Oh, it’s a heart. Ah. I rather like this human.”
~Draco: The Harry I know wouldn’t give up
Harry: Well, the Harry YOU know is a 12 year old superhero, and I’m just an eleven year old child!
~Ron: Why are you getting married by a talking lion?
Draco: Oh, it’s a mature thing, you wouldn’t understand.
~Who looks like an idiot? YOU DO!
~That’s Bambi’s mom…
~It sounds like a funny problem, but it actually is not.
And everything else from A VERY POTTER SEQUEL

~‎Joey: I say if we’re all in this together, you can bet on it, we’re breaking free.
Joey’s Heart: Fabulous!
Dick: Looks like the boys are back!
~Joey: If I could, I’d kiss you. Remember that time we tried that?
Dick and Joey: WE WERE *THIS* CLOSE!
~Gotta find his dick, gotta find his dick…
~Don’t touch me with your penis!
~Not a queef from you!
~Joey: She had long hair…on her vagina?
Dick: Yeah. And somehow, it worked. Oh, by the way, I think Sally’s dying her hair.
~Joey: You want to have sex with mom?
Dick: I don’t know, maybe…Joey, I’m kidding…Dad would ground us.
~W…T…FUCK???!!!
And everything else from ME AND MY DICK
~

How can you ride a stick, I mean, unless it’s like a broomstick…

“I’m ma let you finish—”

“She’s like two…”

“AIDS MOBILE!”

“Rosa Parks? I’ve never been there.” 

“Um, I’m calling for Reggie…he died two years ago! He didn’t get the part he wanted in a Barn show and he went crazy…now he auditions for shows…”

“A heart is a heavy burden.” ~Howl’s Moving Castle

I’m a cat. Freakin meow.

WHAT THE PUCK?!

~PENIS!!
~Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Fuck you whore

~”I need to have a talk with Puccini on how he wrote this!”
~”God and Mozart are on your side for college auditions!”
~”Cinderella, che bella!, my name is Prince TODD.”
~I like my French fries hot and salty…just like you!

“get it, coz Im goffik”
And everything else from MY IMMORTAL

Anything said by one Olivia Derman. Or Josh Brady. Or Nick Pelaccio.

♥ The Barn ♥

Scott:…is more coherent, I do believe it ACTIVIA!!!
Jason: When did Jamie Lee Curtis join “The Tower of Babble”?…So, Jesus, I hear you’ve been irregular. That’s right, I could walk on water but I could just not control my bowels! Now I can heal myself like I healed those lepers!

“Shanti, Shanti! Come help me at the 7-11!”
“Shanti, are you irregular?”

PINK PAJAMAS, PENGUINS ON THE BOTTOM

“How am I going to explain this to my dad?!”

“It’s like the kid trying to see Santa Clause, only he’s being crucified on the fireplace.”

“It’s ‘Day by Day’ NOT ‘TIT BY TIT’!!!!!”

Do not hold jealousy in your heart…um, who wants to help me tell the next parable?

Holy Jesus there’s a possum in the road KICK IT!!…A BABY!!

So he’s going to be slightly segregated…That’s not what I meant!

THE GOATS!

♥

~”My hormones don’t rage; oh sure they get mad sometimes but then they just stop speaking to each other.” 
~“Damn it, it’s my turn to say, ‘damn it’!”
~Sugar’s bad for you
Sugar rots your teeth.
Hitler ate sugar.
~Mr. O’Neill: A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
Jane: Not if you’re diabetic.
~It’s a guy and a girl and they’re talking about…a herd of wild ponies running freely across the planes. 
~Do you always talk to the computer, Daria?
Only when the toaster’s mad at me.
~Jane: Oh no, the toilet’s talking to me again
Daria: Pssst, Lane!
Jane: Talking toilet, you may call me JANE.
~They may be shallow, but that doesn’t mean they have to be executed.
Yes it does.
Okay, I’m sold.
~Daria: Do you think I complain a lot?
Tom: What are you bitching about now?
~Daria: Sure, I’ll help them, right after I slip into my fur bikini.
Tom: Maybe you should help them, give them a chance.
Daria: I was kidding about the fur bikini.
Tom: Damn.
~”I’m not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or come to think of it, much for the public. And I’m not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I could do it all over again, I’d have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from 8th grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I’d like to add that if you’re lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares, then it doesn’t have to suck quite as much. Otherwise, my advice is stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and the lie are not “sort of” the same thing. And there’s no aspect, no facet, no moment in life that can’t be improved with pizza. Thank you.”
And everything else from DARIA

♥

“A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned to walk forward.” ~FDR

♥

~NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!!
~”It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”
~”It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
~”Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
~”Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!”
~”I suppose she thinks you don’t forget your name. But we’re not stupid - we know we’re called Gred and Forge.”
~Ron was staring at Pettigrew with the utmost revulsion.
“I let you sleep in my bed!” he said.
~”Harry!” said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. “Simply splendid to see you, old boy-“ 
“Marvelous,” said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry’s hand in turn. “Absolutely spiffing.” Percy scowled. 
“That’s enough, now,” said Mrs. Weasley. 
“Mum!” said Fred as though he’d only just spotted her and seized her hand too. “How really corking to see you-“
~‘“I told you!” Ron hissed at Hermione as she stared down the article. “I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She’s made you out to be some sort of - scarlet woman!”
Hermione stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. “Scarlet woman?” she repeated, shaking with surprised giggles as she looked around at Ron.
“It’s what my mum calls them,” Ron muttered, his ears going red.’
~‘“I want to fix that in my memory forever,” said Ron, his closed and an uplifted expression on his face. “Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret…”’
~”Enjoying it?” said Ron darkly. “I don’t reckon he’d come home if Dad didn’t make him. He’s obsessed. Just don’t get him onto the subject of his boss. ‘According to Mr. Crouch…as I was saying to Mr. Crouch…Mr. Crouch is of the opinion…Mr. Crouch was telling me…’ They’ll be announcing their engagement any day now.”
~”I’ve got two Neptunes here,” said Harry after a while, frowning down at his piece of parchment, “that can’t be right, can it?”
“Aaaaah,” said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney’s mystical whisper, “when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry…”
~”Excuse me, I don’t like people just because they’re handsome!” said Hermione indignantly.
Ron gave a loud false cough, which sounded oddly like “Lockhart!”
~”Hermione, Neville’s right - you are a girl…”
“Oh well spotted,” she said acidly.
~”I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth…your dark hair…your mean stature…tragic losses so young in life…I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?”
“No,” said Harry, “I was born in July.”
Ron hastily turned his laugh into a hacking cough.
~”Give her hell from us, Peeves.”
And Peeves, whom Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.
~”Not this brave at night, are you?” sneered Dudley.
“This is night, Diddykins. That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”
~”What, am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?”
~”You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.”
“Yeah,” said Harry, “but you, unlike me, are a git.”
~“‘Give five signs that identify the werewolf.’ Excellent question.”
“D’you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern.
“Think I did,” said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin…”
~”I don’t believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That’s everyone in the family!”
“What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?”
~”Hello, Harry,” said George, beaming at him. “We thought we heard your dulcet tones.”
“You don’t want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out,” said Fred, also beaming. “There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn’t hear you.”
~”…Harry, I’ve left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -“
“They won’t,” said Harry.
“That you’re safe -“
“That’ll just depress them.”
”- and you’ll see them next summer.”
“Do I have to?”
~”Yes,” said Harry stiffly.
“Yes, sir.”
“There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”
~”Sometimes you remind me alot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’ in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.”
~”Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…”
“I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.”
~”Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George’s shop?”
“How did you…?”
“Harry, please. You’re talking to the man who raised Fred and George.”
~”How do you feel Georgie?” whispered Mrs.Weasley.
George’s fingers groped for the side of his head.”Saintlike,” he murmured.
“What’s wrong with him?” croaked Fred, looking terrified. “Is his mind affected?”
“Saintlike,” repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his nrother. “You see…I’m holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?”
Mrs. Weasley sobbed harder than ever. Color flooded Fred’s pale face.
“Pathetic,” he told George. “Pathetic! With the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”
~“You can’t do it if I don’t cooperate, you need me to give you some hair.”
“Well, that’s that plan scuppered,” said George. “Obviously there’s no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate.”
“Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who’s not allowed to use magic; we’ve got no chance,” said Fred. 
~”If you’re holding out for universal popularity, I’m afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time.”

Basically everything from “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of Number Four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” to “Harry’s scar had not hurt in nineteen years. All was well.”

Yeah, I loves me some Harry Potter :)

♥